In the book A Desired Past we are introduced to Aunt Leila and her partner Diantha. The author of the book was never really told straight up that her aunt was really in love with this woman or if Leila considered herself a lesbian. This part of the book made me really think how hard it must have been back then to have to hide such a strong feeling you have against someone and what a huge inconvenience it really can be. Some people really do like to show public display of affection or be able to talk to friends or family about their significant other. Years ago I'm sure that wasn't even an option to go out in public and hug and kiss your partner that is of the same sex. I also thought it was interesting when she mentioned about the 'burning of letters.' In my understanding of this section, same sex lovers used loved letters as a main means of communicating their feelings to each other without other people finding out about it. It must have been very hard to have to burn something that had such sentimental value just because you were scared that someone would stumble upon them.
One of my main reasons I took this course is to get a better understanding of the labels and try to distinguish which words are not correct to say or rude and which terms are better to use. In this book I think the author does a nice job in trying to describe if her aunt considered herself as a label of a 'lesbian' because she was a conservative lady.
I was pretty shocked when I read about the section how Sambia boys can only grow into adulthood when they swallow the semen of older men. Not only was this act not deviant but it was expected and it didn't mean anything about that persons 'sexuality.'
As I kept reading I found out that the author preferred to use the term 'same-sex-sexuality' instead of such terms as 'gay' or 'lesbian' or even 'homosexual.' I decided that I prefer this term as well. I suppose it depends upon the community and environment in which you grew up around to decide which term sounds offensive and which doesn't. I believe that in most communities that the term gay is used more often to describe a bad situation or a negative perspective on something. Due to this I don’t like the term really because I don’t know if the person I am saying it to would believe me that I am meaning to use the word in a respective way.
I learned a new word which I had never heard before, "berdaches" which are biological males who dressed an lived as women. I was also interested to learn that berdaches were an emblem that symbolizes child abuse and the violent domination of women. I would never even guess that was what that word meant.
I think your point about language and relationality is important. The idea that 'lesbian' as a term couldn't and wouldn't apply to Aunt Leila's relationship because it wasn't really something she would've applied and was not necessarily available, is well taken. I would contend that "gay" as a term for individual males today is entirely appropriate, unless otherwise pointed out, whereas it may not be in an historical context. The author's use of 'same-sex sexuality' seeks to avoid contextual issues. Also, I want to make sure that it was clear that "berdache" is not a particularly positive term, it is a French derived word that usually carries a negative sexual connotation. "Two-spirit" is preferred academically. Good work, and keep blogging!
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